Karaoke Review 04-26

When I walked in, Ari was helping T sweep up the carnage left from last night.    T was picking up the mess behind the bar & I could see dried up crap all over the tables, so I started wiping them down.   We’re used to the place looking & smelling like shit every Sunday.   It’s not the Saturday night help; it’s the Saturday night afterparty.   There’s no one to clean up for the afterparty & God knows it’s not going to be them.

T went to one of the restrooms to find that he had a bunch of dried up puke to clean up.   Does he ever have the shitty job some days.

Karaoke Review 4-19

Two blondes walk into a bar.

They sit down in front of the well & the 1st blonde asks the bartender, “So, do you guys have karaoke tonight?”

The bartender says, “Yes we do.   Do you want to see a book?”

And you thought it was going to be a joke of some kind.

Karaoke Review 04-12

I had a room full of singers & nobody singing.

I got into the bar around 8pm as usual.   As usual, it started off quite slowly, which is actually just fine for me, since 1) I have this need to organize/clean everything just so or else I can’t function properly, & 2) it gives me some quality time with T, who isn’t just my boss but my very good friend.   We talk about bar stuff.   Stuff you guys would probably find extremely boring, but we find endlessly interesting.

Karaoke Review 03-29

For T’s birthday, cartoon artist & all-around hot guy Pineapple Man came in to help out with the running of the karaoke as well as ballpoint pen portrait art.   Although the night started out fairly quietly (“Did you tell anyone it was your birthday?” “No. Did you?” “Uh.”), it didn’t stay that way, & P Man’s assistance ended up being invaluable.

Karaoke didn’t start until 10ish, when all we had in the bar was P Man, Jojo, King B, & a couple of new people, both very nice, who I will christen Boobilicious & Boobilicious’ Guy Friend.   I mean, really.   She had really nice ones.   My goodness.

Karaoke Review 03-22

This past Sunday Mele was the most drunk I have ever seen him.  And that’s saying a lot.   We discussed it in WoW the next day: 

Karaoke Review 03-15

At 12:30 T told me, “NO more alcohol for me!!”

“Me too!!” I said.   We both looked at each other.

“Wait a minute,” I said.   There was another hiatus while my razor sharp brain worked.

“How about,” I said. “No alcohol… for half an hour!!”

“Ok!” T said.

“Ok!” I said.

We high fived eachother.

Karaoke Review 03-08

New to the Karaoke Diaries? Read the very first post, which contains a very glamorous pic of me blinking.

I’ve been a little lax about getting the Diaries out because since picking up a couple more shifts at another bar, the stars & planets seem to have aligned, all in a “Fuck you Lauren” kind of pattern.   Well, not really.   I’ve just been really busy.   And cranky.

On top of that, Mele has been kind of outdoing himself with the Irish Carbombs lately. 

Karaoke Review … whatever day this is.

I’m so not in the mood today.

Yesterday was KK’s important, high pressure performance – I was going to tell the story but I actually don’t know specific details… like the name of the piece he sang. If he doesn’t want to add it to the comments or (maybe even) post about it I’ll interrogate him so I can add it here.

Karaoke Review 02-15

There’s a curious phenomenon that occurs when I tell Mele at the end of the night that I’ve had enough to drink.   Tequila makes me hyper drunk, & if I’m not physically impaired I don’t necessarily notice right away that I’m drunk.   Usually when I do, it’s a little late.   Then, like a retard, I look at Mele & say, “Dude.   I am fucked up.“

He interprets that as:

“Dude. I would like to partake of another ounce & a half of liquor, at least.   In fact, a larger quantity of alcohol would be preferable.   Perhaps an Irish Carbomb.   Perhaps 2 Irish Carbombs.   Yes, I think I would like very much to drink more right now.”

Karaoke Review 02-08

WMA file of Khorn singing “Ants Marching.”   I really enjoy listening to Khorn sing Dave Matthews because he has so much fun.   Lately he’s been trying out a lot of high range songs but whenever he goes back to his old standards it’s always a pleasure to hear, because he nails it.

I’d characterize this Sunday night as under par singing (none of us were on top of our game this week) & a lot of hilarity, partially in an attempt to overcompensate for a really horrible incident in which Tappy’s bag got snatched by the single stranger in the room.    A young Hawaiian/Samoan guy came in, sat down & ordered a glass of water from me (which he held with a napkin), & then grabbed Tappy’s purse which had been left at her table unattended, & ran out the door to a waiting car, which sped away before any of the guys could get a license plate number.