Ten Karaoke Songs That Make Me Want To Hurt Someone

Ok, look.   I’ve been working in karaoke bars for over 10 years.   So not only have I gotten tired of songs the average non-karaoke-bar-working person can still appreciate, but I’m also getting old & cranky.   But anyway.

Sometimes it’s not the caliber of singing but the actual song choice that wears on the nerves.   Other folks who have done time in karaoke bars will know what I mean, & they will probably have their own lists of hated song selections.   The other night one of my friends, who also owns a bar & deliberately excluded karaoke from the entertainment options, approached me as I stood at the side of the bar & said, “Punch me in the balls, right now!”

The Power Of Christ Compels You!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CREED’S BACK!

From People.com (with additional “commentary” from O-Dogg in bold)

After a six-year hiatus, multi-platinum selling Orlando-based rock band Creed have returned with a new record tentatively titled Full Circle. (Now I have the strength to go on living.)

“We never felt like we weren’t together,” says frontman Scott Stapp. “We’re not looking at this as a reunion. It’s more of a rebirth.” (Rebirth?  Could you be more of a douche!)

Though they stayed in touch through holiday cards and the occasional phone call, the group refrained from recording together in order to, “explore other creative outlets and build the main priority in all of our lives, which is our family,” says Stapp. (Also because Stapp is a no talent hack who had become a hardcore drunk.)

For The Love Of God, Why?

I tolerate a lot of things in life — the current economic recession, the short-sightedness in national politics, New York Yankee fans — but this takes things too far.  What no-talent hack producer pitched this crap to Hillary Duff?  How did the record label get permission from Depeche Mode to allow Personal Jesus to get butt-raped like this?  When did Satan saunter up from the underworld to claim Hillary Duff’s soul as stated in the contract between the Whorrey Netherworld and the Walt Disney Corporation?  I would say this is a sign of the Apocalypse, but it’s just the state of popular music these days.  I weep for the future.

Daisy de la Hoya

I think she could be the next Tila Tequila.   Initially I was hating on her because she’s dating Dave Navarro, but then I went to her MySpace (stalker-like; yeah I can do it!) & listened to her music — it took awhile because you can only access the “back” control on the MySpace player since she’s got some kind of ad blocking it — but after listening to her sexy screaming/rapping & seeing her great modeling work I think she has the talent to run with the likes of Ms. Nguyen!!

God help us.

As I watched Tila Tequila rise to stardom I was impressed with her utter daring.   She produced such unequivocal trash but promoted it with unparalleled style, magnetism, &, basically, force. She used her looks & her brains & she earned herself the 21st century title of Rock Star, where “to rock” no longer refers to music, but… to “rocking.”   Tons of people bought her CDs & they probably still haven’t listened to any of her songs.   She’s a fricking genius.

Unlike Tila though, Daisy is just real. She’s so beautiful but her true, imbecilic self just shines through. All over the web she’s being called a whore or a slut, & it’s all because there are publicly viewed recordings of her talking.   Well, & then there’s the picture with the chopped pile of flour.   She’s just, like, so genuine.

Someone’s got to destroy those videos.   Come on Bret.

I’m Yours

What is this Jason Mraz song I’ve been hearing about for months?   Staci bought me We Sing & We Dance & I haven’t had a chance to listen to them entirely yet.   Kylie told me about “I’m Yours” sometime last year, & it was mentioned to me by several other people since then, since I am always singing “You & I Both” at Karaoke Hut.   See, there’s my copy of Waiting For My Rocket sitting there on my CD rack.   It’s good stuff.

So finally, I got to hear the acclaimed “I’m Yours.”

It sounds like Jack Johnson, with better singing.

I feel so sad.

Umbrella, Ella, Ella

Anyone who even remotely knows me knows I have somewhat firm ideas about music. Firm? Maybe even myopic.

I grew up listening to Olivia Newton-John, Jim Croce, & The Eagles. The first song I ever tried to play on my dad’s guitar was The Beatles’ “Michelle” (heh, major failure). The first concert I ever saw was Rick Springfield, the best concert I ever saw was Jane’s Addiction & the first song I ever spent a week learning to play from tabs was Metallica’s “Fade To Black.” My favorite artist is Jonatha Brooke, my favorite male vocalist is Chris Cornell & my favorite female vocalist is Patty Smyth.

So imagine the pause when a guitarist asked me to learn Rihanna’s R&B song, “Umbrella.”